Still Learning.

I have always considered myself an open minded person. Especially with the gay community. I never thought being gay was a sin, and didn’t the issue with homosexual couples getting married. However, I never really ‘got’ the transgender community and their struggle. I thought it was a conscious decision on their part, to live as the opposite gender. I understood that some felt the need to transition, but again, I didn’t really get it. Last summer, a Netflix show starring trans woman Laverne Cox premiered, and I had a small epiphany, that maybe it wasn’t as much a choice as I thought.

Earlier this year, author Janet Mock was a guest on Piers Morgan. This made headlines, because of his insensitive questions and unwillingness to empathize with her struggle. A few weeks later, I saw Ms. Mock on the Colbert Report. I was struck by her beauty, and thought ‘I would never know she was trans. How gorgeous is she?” Which now I recognize as offensive, and I shouldn’t say it out loud. Moving on. I was intrigued by her, the way she described being trans. She has written a book ‘Redefining Realness’. I read it in 3 days.

To say I was moved is an understatement. I finally understood the struggle that trans people face. I’ll never experience it, but now I can empathize. Mock’s story is a sad one, yet there’s a happy ending. I follow her and Cox on Twitter, and these two women are among the fiercest I’ve encountered. Their passion and willingness to help others by telling their own stories is admirable. I know I am grateful for the opportunity to learn what being transgendered really is all about. Laverne Cox made the cover of Time this month, no small feat. Her show, Orange is the New Black, comes back June 6th, and she’s been nominated for a Critic’s Choice Award. She and fellow trans woman(also a model), Carmen Carrera, appeared on Katie Couric earlier this year. They handled that with eloquence and grace, in spite of Couric’s inane questions.

I know these two women have made huge differences for the transgender community. I hope that more people are able to step into the light and be accepted for who they are.

Read Janet Mock’s book, Redefining Realness. You won’t regret it.

End of an Era.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written anything. Sorry, guys. I started college, my parents visited, and my child hit the terrible two’s. It’s been busy.


Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you heard of David Letterman’s impending retirement, and Stephen Colbert being named as his replacement. I haven’t watched Dave in years, but it was still a bit sad for me to hear.

When I was in junior high, my dad owned a little arcade/general store. He’d get home around the time Dave came on, and I’d still be awake. I didn’t see him much then, he was working a lot, so this started our tradition of watching Dave and talking. We talked about everything, college, religion, politics. Stupid human and pet tricks were our favorite episodes, along with the bird callers. Anytime I think of my dad during my childhood, this sticks out in my mind. As far as I remember, this only lasted one summer. My dad got a job in the fall that was a regular 9-5, and I had to go back to school, thus going to bed earlier. We’d stay up on the weekends sporadically and chat, but it wasn’t the same. Letterman has always held an emotional attachment for me, even when my dad stopped watching him because he said Dave got ‘old and bitter’.

So long, Dave. Thanks for the memories.

A Long Time Ago; We Used to Be Friends.



I got into Veronica Mars shortly after it was cancelled. She was, and still is, one of my favorite female TV characters. She was spunky, quick witted, wonderfully flawed. Alas, the CW didn’t agree and cancelled VMars, leaving so much left unfinished.

When I heard about Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas’ Kickstarter campaign, I was giddy. So many people I knew were fans, I had no doubt the movie would get made. I even kicked in $20.

Cut to last weekend. I had been impatiently waiting for the movie to come out. I was afraid it wouldn’t live up to my expectations, I wouldn’t like the plot, etc. I was worried for nothing.

The Veronica Mars movie was such a wonderful love letter to fans of the show. It was like a season, condensed into an hour and 47 minute movie. Everyone was there, Dick, Madison, Wallace, Mac, Piz, Keith, Sachs, Weevil, Vinnie, and of course Logan. Who, by the way, ages like a fine wine. That Navy uniform? Drool. To quote Cougar Town, “he makes my lady parts beep”. Sorry. Or not.

I love that Veronica left everything behind, tried to start over and be a completely different person, only to turn it all back upside down. I love so much about the movie, I don’t have enough words. I have absolutely no criticism. Everyone just seamlessly transitioned back to their characters. Nothing about it felt stiff or forced. Given that it’s been 10 years since they’ve played those roles, that’s impressive.

Please, more Veronica Mars. Go to Netflix and bring it back, a la Arrested Development. Or a sequel. I’d be content with that.


You Learn.


The Paula Cole station on Pandora IS my teenage years.

I was listening to it during dishes, and was astounded that every single song was one that I played ad nauseam in my room, on my cd player/radio. (Except the Sixpence None the Richer ones. Do I have to thumbs down every single one to get Pandora not to play them?) Mostly I listened to angry girl or depressive girl music. Lots of Alanis and Sarah McLachlan. My poor dad.

Now I want to watch old episodes of My So Called Life and drool over Jordan Catalano. Sigh.

Ron Who?


The Oscars were Sunday. I love them. I’ve watched them every year since about 3rd grade.

I was mostly happy with the winners. Aside from McConaughey beating out Leo.

Don’t get me wrong, Dallas Buyers Club was an outstanding film. Leto was amazing, Garner should have been nominated. Then there is Matthew McConaughey. He did a good job, but the role didn’t seem like much of a stretch for him. Ignorant Texan? Really? He changes and becomes more accepting in the film, but still. I think his acting on True Detective is far superior.

Let’s be honest. I didn’t want to hear his acceptance speech. Alright alright alright?

He said nothing about the man he portrayed, the AIDS fight, the ridiculousness that is the healthcare system. Instead, he thanked god. I never understood that. If there’s a supreme being, I sincerely doubt he cares about Matthew McConaughey.

He talks about his dad dancing in his underwear in heaven, with a can of beer and gumbo. About how he’ll never be his own hero. He thanks the normal people, his wife and kids, his mom, his costars and director. He ends his speech with two quotes from Dazed and Confused. Really. Most of the headlines I saw the morning after were ‘Matthew McConaughey Gave Exactly the Speech You’d Expect from Him’ or ‘McConaughey Thanks Himself in Speech’. A guy who has Magic Mike on his list of recent movies should really be more humble.

My Little Brony.


I was going to write yesterday about Bronies. But, my husband came home from work early and I had a few drinks. It’s probably good that I didn’t write.

If you haven’t seen the Brony documentary on Netflix, watch it. I had heard about it from several friends, but was unsure what to expect going into it.

The men and boys in the documentary were sympathetic characters. For a lot of them, My Little Pony helped them deal with life better than they had been. For example, one man in the UK with Asperger’s and social anxiety made the trek to a Bronycon. It was a safe place, he knew no one would be mean to him, and he came out of his shell.

The creators of the show were fairly shocked that a huge fan following of predominately grown men began. They treat the Bronies well, come to Bronycon. Of course they are making lots of money off them, I wouldn’t expect them to treat them any differently.

There’s a huge market for Brony art, music remixes, clothing, accessories, fan fiction, etc. It’s amazing how much is actually out there. Do a DeviantArt search for My Little Pony. Hundreds of thousands of results show up. There are even separate military Brony communities.

As much as there is pro-Brony merch, there is plenty of mocking. There was a petition on to cancel MLP:FIM. They only got 65 signatures. There are groups who call themselves anti-Brony and want to eradicate Bronies, mostly by violence. There have been a few news stories lately of Bronies being attacked and seriously injured.

Let’s be honest here. It’s weird, that grown men are obsessed with My Little Pony. Real weird. However, there are so many other scarier things they could be into. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, is at least harmless.

I just put them in the same category as Trekkies. They hang out, they have their own little language, fan fiction, conventions.

Keep on keeping on, Brony dudes. At least you guys seem nice.

P.S. Every time I hear the MLP theme, the Apocalypse Pony song goes through my head. Thanks, husband.

Naptime for Mom.


Ain’t that the truth.

When R was little, all my energy used to get zapped away by his loud cries. All I wanted was sleep.

Now, it’s the screeching. He’s officially hit the terrible twos. I think my blood is mostly espresso these days. I go to bed early, nap when he does. It’s exhausting. No one tells you how tired you’ll actually be.

I love him, he’s such a bright, sweet, funny guy. But that yelling has got to go.

Throw Your Hands Up At Me.



I’m an independent person. So much so, that I don’t ask for help. I run into some trouble, I figure it out on my  own. This makes the people in my life feel bad. I’ve alienated friends over it.

I get it, people want to feel needed. I don’t understand why that’s my problem. Shouldn’t they be happy that I’m not the person who hysterically runs to them every time I hit a little bump in the road? I don’t care if my family and friends ask me for help, I’m happy to assist them. I just don’t feel the need to return the favor.

In a sense, I’ve asked for help. Maybe not for everyday life things, and not really from my close friends and family. When I was having trouble with post partum depression, I made an appointment and I got help. I was tired of feeling so awful, so I acted.  I think that’s pretty damn important.

I bet none of Beyonce’s friends expect her to ask for help.



I’ve been meaning to write this blog for a while.

Death is sad. Any death.  Death is even, for me. I do find myself saddened a bit more when the death is a result of an drug overdose or suicide; or of a miltary member. That hits home with me. I think of how alone that person must have felt. When someone dies tragically and before their time, it changes our world. We will never know what this person would have accomplished, had they been able to get help, if someone had reached out to them, etc.

With that, when a celebrity dies from an overdose, don’t dismiss it. They are real people too, with problems. Their life didn’t matter any less because of their profession. I’m not saying everyone should get broken up over every single death they hear, celebrity or otherwise, or maybe I am. Maybe if we do, we’ll be kinder to each other.

Life is short. Life is hard. Some people lose the battle to their addiction, their depression, their disease. Nothing about that is fair.


I’m thankful to live in the USA. I am. There are just days when I am fed up with the backwardness of this country. Like today.

Gay marriage, for one. If you don’t like it, don’t get gay married. If it has any effect on your marriage, you need counseling. The people who seem to talk about homosexuals as if they’re not people are the ones who have put way too much time into thinking about gay sex. Rick Santorum, for example. No, it shouldn’t be left up to the states. If gay marriage is a voteable right, straight marriage should be as well. You shouldn’t have to decide where to live based on if that state recognizes your partner.

Abortion. Again, don’t like it, don’t have one. I wrote about mine in another post. I got it in NC before the laws got strengthened. It was an easy process to get an appointment, and I was lucky. Women are still dying in this country from botched abortions given by people who aren’t licensed to do so. Women like me carry around the stigma of having an abortion. The only people who know are my husband, a handful of friends, and my lovely blog readers. I will never tell my parents. There’s a woman in Texas who is dead, being kept alive by machines because she is pregnant. The fetus is showing signs of major deformities, still they keep life support going. This should not be happening in this day and age. Nasim Pedrad said it best, that if men could get pregnant, abortions would be readily available and birth control would have flavors.

The way this nation has treated veterans is abominable. The VA is a black hole from which nothing escapes, and nothing is really being done about it. Don’t even get me started on the defense budget. When the military is throwing out brand new desks at the end of the fiscal year, you know they have money to burn. The budget just needs to be revised, go more to actual defense, the troops, and less waste.

I feel slightly better. Rant over.


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